Living: Standards, Morals, Goals, Reasons
It seems to me that the many people in the world lack a strong conviction towards a set of morals or values, that many people go through life without a real set of goals or even a general direction in which they wish to see life headed. I, for one, cannot imagine what this would be like. To me, rules are what brings order to my life, and progress comes by goals.
I have always set standards for myself. I feel that if I create a set of rules for myself, and then live by them, that I'll be able to more logically make decisions. It seems to me that the mind is the logic center of my being; my emotions the center of chaos. This does not mean that I dislike nor necessarily try to avoid this chaos, because it's not a bad sort of chaos, it's the chaos that is your being, the thing that drives you towards certain goals or achievements. Yet I find that setting rules for myself helps to control certain aspects of this chaos, refining the end result. For example, one of my ideals is social harmony. What I mean by this, in the simplest terms, is that there will be a minimum amount of time wasted on arguing about things that really don't make that much difference in the world. My emotional side would want to argue my point until the other side gives in, perhaps seeking a sort of chaos to which it stems from. However my mental being knows that something may not be that important, and that it is not worth arguing about. So therefor my set of standards would overrule my chaotic nature. This was a trivial example, let me give a more complex example.
As team captain of the robotics team in high school, I felt that one of the most important duties I had was to be completely unbiased and fair in my decisions. Due to comments made by the two teacher-advisors about past team captains being biased due to having girlfriends that were on the team, I took it upon myself to not get involved with anyone on the team in order to keep myself non-biased. It was job to remain somewhat distanced from the team so that I could make rational decisions that the team could trust to be a product of intellect, and only my intellect. When I made this decision, it seemed simple enough to stand by. I didn't have a girlfriend, nor did I really feel like I needed or wanted one at the time. As the robotics team school year progressed on, I found myself more and more attracted to one girl on the team, yet I knew that it was my duty to not become emotionally involved with anyone on the team. I was able to find solace in the fact that I was able to control my emotional side through the use of predefined rules that I had set forth for myself. The rules gave me strength, and so I was able to live with my decision. For my decision had given me justification for my action, and a sense that I was pursing a greater cause.
Logic is a great motivator. The fact that I am able to make decisions purely by reason is of great comfort. In the previous example, I had renewed confidence in myself - that by not giving in to my emotional side, I had proven to myself that I could be my own master, that no matter what kind of emotions, good or bad, I could always be in control. To be able to live up to my own rules allowed me to understand that as a person, I could follow any set of rules I set forth for myself. That a controlling logic was the thing that set my decisions apart from decisions other people might have made, made me feel superior.
Yet logic is not life. And emotion does play a large part in my life. Just not as large a part as logic does, because I feel that logic is the more objective of the two. And of course, emotion is often called the more powerful of the two because of the things that it can make one do, but by controlling this emotion, my logic dictates my actions.
And now we come to moral values. Without moral values I would be nothing, morals form the basis of my standards; morals are that which separates man from beast. My values are very idealistic, and I hold myself to them because I believe that it will make me a better person. There are, of course, the twelve points of the scout law that I hold myself to - not because of the fact that I am an Eagle Scout and have sworn to live by them, but because I find them to be good ideals to live towards: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. I also find that generosity goes a long way in life, and so I try to be as generous and as forgiving as I can. I'm also told that I'm very patient, this is something that I hope is true. I regard patience as a very good thing to have, since there's generally a lot of waiting to be done in life. I also tend to trust other people with a lot more than I probably should before I know them too well, but I find that I generally have a good sense of who is trustworthy and who is not.
One of the things that I've come to accept as a value is that love, above all, should dominate. This begins with love for a fellow person, from the hard-working man working to support his family of eight, to the lazy, poor beggar on the street. That all of them deserve some sort of basic support in life, that they may not be able to live with all the modern amenities that someone wealthy may live with, but that at least they comfortable, safe, and fed. Then there is love for a compatriot, the friends who are friends because life would be boring without them. I always try to be good to these people, because good friends are hard to come by. And plus these are the people that are like me, that I associate with. And so sooner or later, my good hospitality will reflect back upon itself and it will only serve to build a better friendship. I never ask too much of a friend, and always try to be courteous. Friends are there to talk to and to relate to, not to be your slave. And lastly there is romantic love, the best of them all. To this I shall devote an entire paragraph.
Romantic love is the most wonderful thing ever. People often ask what morals have to do with love - the simplest answer is: everything. I've always set my standards very high. I figure that if I'm supposed to meet someone with whom I am to spend the rest of my life with, I can't afford to lower my standards to just anyone. That isn't to say that I won't go out on a date with anyone that asks, I'd go out with pretty much anyone decent, kind and intelligent, but only because I believe that everyone deserves a chance. I seldom ask people out myself as there are very few people who I find to be people that might be right for me. Not that this is a logical decision, it's mostly an emotional one. But the fact that there are very few people that I find myself romantically comfortable with is merely a product of the fact that I only like the best of the best. I find that the most important part of being able to become romantically involved with someone is to be comfortable with yourself. I've found that the age-old adage "how can you love someone else when you don't love yourself?" is true, those that aren't comfortable with being themselves (or being themselves around the person they are seeing) tends to not work out. But I am comfortable with myself, so comfortable, in fact, that I don't really need a girlfriend to be happy. And that's the way it should be. I have to admit that, at the time of this writing, I am in a relationship, and that it's the most wonderful thing in the world. But it is the fact that I was happy with myself beforehand that allowed me to be comfortable with myself in this relationship.
So all in all, my morals are very strong, and they guide my actions. I don't understand how some people can simply ignore their morals to get things done, since morals are the one thing I could never compromise on -- to sacrifice on morals is to sacrifice the one thing that makes a person who they are. I know that when I follow my set of morals, I can live free of guilt, and that comforts me.
I have many goals in life, these are the things that are perhaps the most important indicator of who a person is. I have always set my goals high, for I see them as things that I strive for, not necessarily things that I must achieve. I generally tend to set several types of goals. There are the long term goals - the things that I would eventually like to happen some time in the future, the things I see happening in my life, such as wanting to get married, have kids, type of job, etc. More on those long term goals can be found elsewhere throughout this section of the site, more or less. The other types of goals are incremental goals. These incremental goals I set for myself are done to help me become a better person, to help me feel more successful, or to make my life more fun. I think that everyone sets short term goals, but some people fail to realize the value of long term goals. Long term goals are really the things that shape and mold you. Without long term goals my life would be aimless, there would be nothing to motivate me. Without motivation I'd just be another plain and ordinary uninspired person. Goals are really the thing that distinguishes one person from another. Everyone can have the same set of standards and morals, but the things that people want out of life all differ. Without goals, man is lost.
One of the guiding principles I have is that everything I do should be fun, or in some way related to making life more fun. As far as I can tell, I only get once chance at life, and that I should make the best of it. As I see it, there's not enough time in life to do things that aren't rewarding. Now mind you, I find a lot of things that other people find to be tedious to be fun, but even still, people should do as many fun things in life as they can. Life isn't all about money or success or fame. Life is about enjoying yourself. Without enjoyment, life would be a bore, and that should never happen. The other thing I see as standing in the way of happiness is guilt, or the desire to have done things differently. People seem obsessed with dwelling on the mistakes of their past, thinking about what they should have done, or what they did wrong. Life should always be lived forward looking. Sure, think about the things you could have done differently, but rather then regret them, learn from them so that you don't make the same mistakes in the future. It's important not to waste any time in life that could have been spent doing something productive, or having fun. I won't say "life's too short" again, but really, it is. Don't waste it.
So that's that. Go and do something fun for awhile.